Posted in Family, Grief, Motherhood, Thanks

I am his very first call…

“Mom, I got bad news totally out of the blue.”

The text flashes across my screen.

“You free?”

My heart starts to pound.  My hands get sweaty.

“Yes.” I respond, gathering my nervous self as together as possible.

It feels like hours until the phone rings.

“Is he hurt?”
“Did his girlfriend break up with him?”
“What about his job?”
“Has he been arrested?”

All those crazy, but somehow normal mom thoughts fly at me from all directions, the “I-WANT-HIM-TO-BE-OKAY” mom thoughts.

My phone finally buzzes.

“Hey honey, what’s up?” I ask, hoping I sound calm and not like I’m ready to hear the worst news ever.

He talks to me about what’s happening.

I try to just listen.

He tells me how he really feels.

Now, I lean in quieter and harder, because this is a newer thing he’s comfortable sharing.

As we get to the end of the call, he thanks me for my support and says, “I love you, Mom.” 

“I love you, too, honey.” I answer.  “It’s all going to be okay.  You will be okay.”

I press the red hang-up button.

Tears well and come tumbling out.

But not for the reasons I thought they would.

They are not there because of the sad and hard that my son is experiencing, even though I feel all those same feels.

They spill out because of the gratitude that seeps into my soul, knowing that I am his very first call.

His very first call.

The way I want it to be.

His very first call.

My mama heart rests peacefully.

Posted in Faith

Spiral

It’s easy to SPIRAL into hopelessness when checking out the news or social media.

Covid. Politics. Shootings. Sex-trafficking. Addiction. Riots.

We don’t have to look very far to see what’s going wrong. It all feels heavy, dire and needs to be fixed as soon as possible.

Where do we start? Who do we help? What can we possibly do to make a small dent for good in this gut-wrenching broken world? Would it even make a difference?

We often fall into the trap of two not-so-helpful choices:

…draining what little time and energy we have getting stuck trying to figure out what is most crucial

or

…crumpling under the sheer magnitude of all the horror.

There’s a third option. A much better one: make the world a better place because we are in it. Plain and simple.

It REALLY does NOT matter what we choose to invest ourselves in. We might care about clean water for the planet, special education needs in our communities, or our child struggling with normal every-day life.

It can be a big-world, local community or one-person issue. We, all by our sweet selves, can be a powerful force for good.

We’ve already done it thousands of times, most of it small and seemingly insignificant: a smile, a hug, a word of encouragement, a meal made, a listening ear, a thoughtful gift.

No, we can’t do everything. But we can do something. And that is lots better than doing nothing.

You see, all those tiny, supposedly inconsequential moments of good grow into the huge life stories of hope, change and restoration.

The good beats back the bad one choice at a time, one person at a time. It’s not insignificant after all. It’s essential.

I’m not sure where your passion lies, what sets your soul on fire, what your heart longs to see restored.

Be encouraged, my friend.

Your “cup of water” for one “thirsty” person will send ripples of life-changing goodness into the world. Trust the ripple.

From my heart to yours.