YUP.
What I need from you.
But also what I hope to give you in return.
The pretty blunt dos and don’ts.
Not flowery. You might actually like it.
- DO check in on me and all my feelings, even if they seem crazy.
- DON’T try to convince me who to vote for. I will be spending lots of time (doing research and on my knees) figuring that out for myself.
- DO respect my boundaries about no-right-answer decisions. DO cheer for me when I decide what I think is safe or risky. Some things might still FREAK me out and I can’t get “there” yet.
- DON’T have a secret agenda to change me or my mind. Just be with me in the middle of the mess.
- DO tell me why you are making your choices. I love knowing you, even and especially if you are completely different from me.
- DON’T tell me I’m nuts, even if I am that minute. Just give me a virtual hug over ZOOM.
- DO keep our relationship paramount. I will be here when we’ve moved beyond all of this.
- DON’T yell in the comment section on social media. Also, DON’T post political things. At least not in my news feed. I want to hear about your kids, your pets, your latest adventures and even cute memes that make me laugh or help me cope. I am happy to have a one-on-one conversation with you about all that’s clogging the news.
- DO understand that I am trying really hard to navigate the complexity of this with as much bravery and wisdom as I can muster, keeping grace for you and me at the forefront. I might screw this up some days.
- DON’T be afraid to tell me how much it all SUCKS right now.
- DO help me stay grounded (when I’m pouring over “the numbers”), but also help me gain freedom (at my turtley pace except for when I’m a hare). Holding onto and speaking HOPE works great here.
- DON’T be afraid to tell me how much FUN you are having right now.
- DO take me into consideration when you act. You know, that whole “love your neighbor as yourself” thing.
- DON’T keep silent about how much you miss me. You can even cry. I might cry right back.
- DO be true to yourself. Let me be true to myself too.
- DON’T try to make me happy and put yourself in an uncomfortable position (see #13). It’s really okay to maintain your own boundaries, even if it’s super hard.
- DO feel free to change your mind, any time you want. The world is changing at break-neck speed. You just might have to as well. We both might.
**17 is a weird number, so I will make it 18 (#noprimenumbers)** - One final and big DO. DO pray for me. A lot. There’s this Presence with a big giant capital P “up there” who has us and knows us and holds us. Plus, it’s hard to pray for me and be against me at the same time. I like when we’re in this human race thing together, on the same side, helping each other out and all that good stuff.
YUP.
What I need from you.
But also what I hope to give you in return.
The Dolly Mama 