BUT I SHOULD be thankful because…
I have technology to communicate with my family.
none of the people I love is sick right now.
my husband just got a job.
BUT I SHOULD be thankful.
BUT.
BUT.
BUT.
I’ve lived for a long time in the land of the BUT.
Hoping that happiness would spill out as I pondered all the “awesome” in my life.
Hoping that even though XYZ was hard, pointing out the good would quiet down the raw grief that kept welling up inside.
Hoping beyond hope that gratitude would spring up and overflow to all those around me.
Dirty little secret. It didn’t work.
I just felt guilty, like an entitled little brat who didn’t get her way when her mom told her “no more cookies.”
I stuffed down my sadness in favor of all manner of positivity, only to find it leak out in ways like resentment and unkindness.
I brought this yuck into my marriage, my parenting and my friendships, only to perpetuate this vicious cycle.
One little word changed all of this.
The word I’ve come to desperately NEED and LOVE, especially in 2020, the year of all years.
The word that helps me to embrace all of my humanness and yours too, giving us opportunity for true and real connection.
The word that’s holding me this week as we head into Thanksgiving, giving space for gratitude in a whole new way.
This word: AND.
AND.
AND.
AND.
It’s goes something like this.
I am very sad that I can’t eat turkey and watch football with some of my kids this week
AND I am thankful because…
they are able to see each other and I have technology to communicate with them.
I am anxious about this dang virus and all the numbers going up
AND I am thankful because…
none of the people I love is sick right now.
I am angry that local businesses are shutting their doors and the holidays are kind of being ruined
AND I am thankful because…
my husband just got a new job.
I am having a very hard time with all that’s been ravaged, lost, ripped away from the collective “us” this year
AND I am thankful because…
God is good and near and kind and with me in the middle of all of it.
So on this very 2020 Thanksgiving, my friend, let’s give ourselves permission to kick the land of the BUT to the curb and pitch our tent in the terra firma of the AND.
The Dolly Mama 