I knew I had to do something.
I knew it would be HARD. Probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I knew it was right, in fact, more than right. It was good.
When the “thing” came to light a couple of weeks ago, my stomach churned.
I looped around and around about it.
I talked with a professional and got wise counsel.
I chatted with my people.
I wished the “thing” did not exist. But it did. Large and scary and awful.
It was hurting someone I love. A few people I love. Harming them.
It was ruinous. The opposite of healing. That “wide road that leads to destruction.”
This “thing” was out of control.
Actually, it probably was in control, the horrific boss, dictating thoughts, decisions and actions.
Causing shame, fear, guilt, heartache, mistrust, disunity, chaos, impatience, lashing out.
That’s why I had to do something.
A very HARD thing.
I set a plan so I wouldn’t back out.
Gathered others to help. With the “thing.”
Chose a day and time.
I knew it was good and right, but as the moment approached, my head ached, my heart raced and I was very afraid.
Of all the bad that might happen.
Of my own inability to follow through. Be calm. Show tender and fierce love at the same time.
Of screwing it all up. Bringing more harm.
But I forged ahead, knowing the “thing” needed to come out of hiding into the open.
Remembering that I can do what’s HARD.
Trusting the process of transformation and the very God who is at the heart of it.
The dreaded hour came.
It was awful.
It was scary.
It was sacred.
It was beautiful.
It was HARD.
Darkness came to light.
Tears were shed.
Boundaries were kept.
Bravery showed up.
Love fitfully reigned in the mess.
And the most important of all…
One small step was taken down the “narrow path that leads to life.”
*items in quotes come from Matthew 7:13*
P.S. Jonathan Puddle has a 30-day devotional book. It combines a short message along with a guided audio meditation for each day.
I started four days ago and it’s been fabulous. Just what I need to center myself around who God says I am and how much I am loved by Him.
There’s a Kindle version, an Audible book and a hard copy available.