Faith – Page 16 – The Dolly Mama

Redeeming Hypnopompia

Posted on October 14, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“This is my Son, Whom I love. In Him I am well-pleased.” (God the Father)

How do you wake up each morning? Slowly, stunned and disoriented? In a panic, your heart racing? Do you set an alarm and jump out of bed or hit the snooze button over and over? Do your thoughts feel dull or does your mind immediately race to all that you have to accomplish? No matter how it happens, there seems to be a tiny window between being fully asleep and fully awake, those brief moments (or even seconds) when it’s somewhat in the middle of the two. Experts call it hypnopompia (which roughly means “to lead out of sleep”) or liminal space. It’s the precious time before you’ve accomplished anything.

To be honest, the very first thing I’ve done for a long time is reach for my phone. After all, the “EstherGizer Bunny” has much to achieve and I can check my emails, weather, social media, to-do list and FitBit sleep status right away (I actually have to sleep correctly too…what are we coming to?). I can start my day on the right foot, alert and organized. I can even check off some of those pressing tasks on my to-do list with my pillow still under my head. I have no time for this liminal space. It’s no wonder I wake up with heart racing and in a panic. Who wouldn’t?

Until about a month ago. I started to read Tish Harrison Warren’s book, Liturgy of the Ordinary. She speaks of these fleeting, fuzzy moments upon waking. “Whether we’re children or heads of state, we sit in our pajamas for a moment, yawning, with messy hair and bad breath, unproductive, groping toward the day.” We have yet to do anything. Who are we in those moments? Who am I in that space, without my never-ending to-do list and my hope to “get-‘er-done?”

Tish brings me back to the story of Jesus Himself. A gentle reminder. He lived 30 years as a regular guy in a regular town in a regular job. No one would say His life was earth-shattering. 10/11ths of His life on our spinning globe are barely recorded. Certainly not much of any import. And at the end of three decades and before his “big three years,” as He was being baptized, a simple dove flew over Him…DON’T MISS THIS…and the voice of His Father shouted words of APPROVAL over Him, “This is my Son, Whom I love. With Him, I am well-pleased.” This was all before what many would deem “world-changing.”

He was APPROVED of and loved before He ACCOMPLISHED anything.

This beautiful and hard-to-soak-in new idea is redeeming my hypnopompic time. I spoke with a friend who sets an alarm clock 20 minutes before the “real” one goes off so that she can spend that cozy, quiet space resting in the notion that she is completely loved and approved of by God before she earns anything. Amazing! It’s all the same for Jesus, my friend and FOR ME!

I am APPROVED of and loved before I ACCOMPLISH anything!

So tomorrow morning (and hopefully all the mornings after that…or at least more of them) before you get your head together, before you check your phone and respond to some urgent request, before you shower and primp, and before you head into your day’s activities where you will accomplish many things, take those fleeting, fuzzy moments (and hopefully I will too) receiving God’s unending and unchanging love and APPROVAL for you.

Soon enough, you will be about your morning. Brushing your teeth. Checking your phone. Helping loved ones out the door. Putting a load of endless laundry in. Heading off to your endeavors. Your day will be filled with all kinds of earning: your paycheck, your friends’ approval, your spot in the grocery store line, your promotion, even your own standards.

As we wake with messy hair and bad breath, let’s “lead ourselves out of sleep” with the gentle, loving approval God wants to pour over us as we start our day.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have placed my trust in you. Show me the way to go, for to you I entrust my life.” (Psalm 143:8)

From my heart to yours.

As always, feel free to like, comment or share! Especially out on social media (or here)!

Charity, clean water, Faith, Thanks

From the Fantastic to the Ordinary (#iwanttobuildashrine #rwanda)

Posted on October 7, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“Honeymoon experiences cannot be sustained. We must always return to the ordinary.” (Richard Rohr)

I am still trying to wrap my head and my heart around the fantastic, incredible, extra-ordinary, unbelievable, “other-worldly” experience I had in Rwanda. There really are no words in our English language able to capture it in its fullness. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve had these times as well where it feels like it’s too almost too sacred to share.

I go from energy to exhaustion within the same moment. I am energized because a new village has clean water to drink. I can see and hear the girls jumping rope with their new gift from America and dancing as water pours out from the brand new pump. However, I am exhausted because people are still wearing their same dirty clothes day after day and school girls don’t have access to feminine hygiene products, much less a private place at school when it’s their “time of the month.” They have to stay home for the week, thwarting their learning and the prospect of a better life.

My heart wants to go back and stay here all at once. Here in New Jersey, I have people I love, conveniences (like wifi that actually works consistently), and a bed that welcomes me (without a mosquito net). But in Rwanda, there are new friends that I love and already miss, the simplicities of a slower pace without the constant dinging of cell phones, and a night sky filled with unhindered stars shining brightly.

I miss the excitement of my team and our trip yet I am happy for the silence of my kitchen in this moment. There couldn’t have been a better group of people to travel with. Our persons varied widely: silly and serious, introverts and extroverts (#meandnatalie), newbies to world travel and those who have lived all over the globe, young parents to grandparents, singles and married. We laughed at ourselves in all our Americanness and shed tears for and with each other, sharing how our hearts had been changed forever because of this precious time spent. We danced in the afternoon and sat bleary-eyed at the early breakfast table, We played soccer and sang praise songs, gave hygiene lessons and carried pipes. We did our best to be utterly flexible while our “used-to-being-in-control” selves took a much-needed break. Yet, now, I am happy for the normal, everyday life where I can take stock of these moments and process how I have been shaken on the inside, never to be the same. It’s just my computer and me in my kitchen in my home, all activity quieted for the moment.

I met some of the brightest and kindest people serving their local community with Living Water International. Graciously, they allowed us the opportunity to actually hold the drill rig in our own non-calloused hands. I danced with local church leaders who care day-in and day-out for the poorest members of their villages. I stood in awed silence as one woman prayed for me as she squeezed my hand intermittently during the time given to the task. I spoke with a government sanitation minister about her efforts to have working toilets in the schools (the funny thing being that the toilet in her government building actually over-flowed after I used it). Tears flowed as I left them behind, yet hope sprang because they continue to do the work after I am gone. We are connected not in body anymore, but still in vision and heart.

I want to do something more, not waste my experience, make it count. I don’t want to go back to my ordinary life of sending emails, brushing my teeth and getting my car fixed. I want to buy a cow for three people that I met. I want to write blog posts that the world will read. I want to make a slide show, a scrapbook, something so that I won’t forget, and neither will others. I want to capture it and hold on tightly.

But when it comes down to it, I am probably not buying a cow for anyone. It might be not the wisest thing to do. I also have had a really hard time writing down exactly what I experienced even though I have tried many moments. Even looking at my pics and videos (and I know some of them are here in this post), they just don’t do the trip justice. I’ve tried to share them, but they don’t really capture the beauty of the rolling hills or the sheer joy of the people met. You know. You get it. You’ve had these experiences too.

Processing some of it out (at least for now), I realized that I just want to build a shrine out of this mountaintop experience like the three disciples did when they saw Jesus being transfigured during their literal mountaintop experience (READ IT HERE) . After all, they had just encountered something fantastic, incredible, extra-ordinary, unbelievable, “other-worldly.” I’m with Peter. Why not build at least some tents, something more permanent, so everyone could live there? Why not have at least a blog post, a video documentary, something concrete to hold on to so that no one would ever forget?

But Jesus surprisingly and gently says to them, “Don’t talk about it right now.” As Richard Rohr reminded me this week (Check out his whole article HERE), “Jesus knew that talking too soon would only weaken the experience. Silence seems necessary to preserve the sacred and the mysterious.”

Obviously, I have not been completely silent (I am Esther Goetz after all). Here you are, reading this blog post that I have written. It’s my third one (here are ONE and TWO). However, I have found myself fumbling for thoughts, words and images to share here and with family and friends. And no matter what I’ve tried, I sense that I’m holding back and not really wanting to speak about it very much. Now I have a small glimpse as to why. Richard Rohr is wise. Jesus is even wiser. He has invited me on a sacred journey meant just for me FOR NOW. He has lovingly thwarted me from “building a shrine” and living there in the extra-ordinary, mountaintop place. He has reminded me that yes, the fantastic has its purpose. It shakes us to the core. It shouts loudly to our souls. It changes us forever. Thank God for the fantastic.

However, we can’t stay there. Nor should we. Even though this week, I have really wanted to. Coming back off the mountaintop back down into the ordinary is just as crucial for us, for me. It must be. Most of our time is spent here. Our hushed, behind-the-scenes, gentle, seemingly dull moments are not wasted. They are essential. For it’s in those very ordinary moments that turn into days that form weeks and months and years, that a lifetime of long-lasting redemption takes place. We are truly changed forever.

Thank you again, Rwanda, your people and your land are beautiful. Your redemption story is almost unfathomable. Because of the light you shine, our world and my heart are much brighter!! Again, I say, Murakoze Rwanda!!!

Faith, Family, Marriage, Uncategorized

Make a Marriage Great Again (Part Eight of Ten) – Have a Little Faith

Posted on September 16, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man and his wife were naked and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:7, 22, 25)

The first marriage story ever told goes something like this:

God makes a bunch of creatures, including a boy and a bunch of animals.

Boy checks out all the animals, but there is no one that “floats his boat.”

GOD: “It’s not good for the boy to be by himself. I’ll make the best fit for him”.

God makes a girl from the very flesh and bones of the boy. God sets up a not-so-blind date for the two of them.

BOY (after seeing girl for first time): “At last! She is all that I’ve been looking for! Thank you God! She is beautiful! She is part of me!”

Boy and girl are naked and they feel no shame. Boy and girl become one.

Time goes by and after working in a beautiful garden and enjoying companionship with each other and with God, girl meets up with a destroyer of all the goodness. Girl is convinced that God is holding out on her and not giving her what she needs.

GIRL: “I don’t need God. I’ve got this. He’s not to be trusted.”

Girl acts from that place of disconnection from God.

GIRL: “Come boy! Do what I do. We really only need each other.”

BOY: “Okay. Sounds great to me.”

Boy acts from the same place of disconnection from God.

Boy and girl now realize they are naked and they feel shame. Boy and girl cover up and hide.

GOD: “Where are you boy and girl?”

BOY: “I am hiding from you.”

GOD: “Why?”

BOY (blames the girl): “She made me do it.”

GOD: “Why girl?”

GIRL: “Someone else made me do it.”

Disconnection → hiding → shame → blame. This is how Allen and I lived for many years. The cycle repeated endlessly. We lived how Albert Einstein defines insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” It wasn’t like we weren’t trying hard. Believe me. We were. We just didn’t know how to get off the hamster wheel.

God designed us for the opposite of the above cycle. His original design for marriage is connection → vulnerability → responsibility → grace → intimacy. It’s the same as His perfect plan for His relationship with us, our journeys of FAITH in Him (there it finally is…the F you were waiting for…see the rest at the end of the post).

God longs for each of us to be “naked and unashamed” (fully-known and fully-loved) with Him. But why does it matter?

The vicious cycle of disconnection → hiding → shame → blame is a destroyer of souls, hearts, minds, even bodies. That’s why it matters. It does NOT work for good. It does NOT bring wholeness or healing. God wants something better for us. He has actually created us to have the same relationship with Him that He does with Jesus, the “I and the Father are One” kind of relationship Jesus speaks so freely of. He wants us to be One, naked and unashamed. How can this happen?

CONNECTION: It starts here. God wants us to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are loved by Him no matter what. This is not an easy undertaking. We have had voices of fear, guilt and shame that have permeated our lives and many times, we have associated them with God. Repenting (which just means “changing your mind or thinking a new thought”) is the first step. The truth about God, not what you’ve heard and assumed all your life is that He loves you. No matter what. His great desire for you is that you live from the place of this unconditional loving connection with Him.

↓

VULNERABILITY: When we struggle and fail, he wants to deepen that connection without hiding, but with vulnerability, putting ourselves in the place of trusting Him and His love for us. Vulnerability is when we make ourselves susceptible to the judgment of others, when we let our guards down and relinquish control. It’s scary. It involves risk. We might be rejected. The good news is that God will never reject us. He is safe because He can be completely trusted with our struggles and our strengths, our trials and our triumphs. He isn’t going anywhere. He will never leave us or forsake us.

↓

RESPONSIBILITY: This safe place with God allows us to be free to take responsibility for our lives, our actions and our emotions, instead of playing the blame game. Taking ownership of our own brokenness, without the self-deprecating place of blame and/or shame is a tricky path to walk. Recognizing our own humanness and frailties and then bringing that out into the light with God is a wonderful giant leap on this journey towards intimacy with Him.

↓

GRACE: God responds to this out of His own complete goodness. He responds to us with grace, which simply means unearned favor. Instead of shaming us, He is kind to us. Instead of cursing us, He blesses us. Instead of turning His back on us, He turns His face towards us. Instead of sending us away, He pulls us close.

↓

INTIMACY: Naked and unashamed. My favorite phrase in the English language. Fully-known and fully-loved. The definition of intimacy. What we all long for at the depths of our being. This is the end result of all the hard work. Completely worth it. It is the healer of souls, hearts, minds and even bodies.

As you can see, our marriages are designed to reflect this beautiful cycle of intimacy, the oneness we all long for, with God and with each other. Marriage is unique, the only human place where this can take place in all of its fullness. We are designed to know and be known, fully without shame: spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. How amazing of God to have invited us to experience this with another human being in the covenant of marriage. I have been given the gift of Allen. He has been given the gift of me. We both have been given the gift of this life-long union. Here’s to opening our gifts every day for the rest of our lives.♥

Thank you for reading today! Please feel free to “like” out on social media or here! Thank you again!

For the rest of the “F’s” in the series on marriage, click on the following links:

Family of Origin

Fidelity

Flaws

Faithfulness

Forecast

Friendship

Fighting

Charity, Childhood, Faith, Mental Health, Third Culture Kid

My Childhood Jesuses (What are Yours?)

Posted on September 9, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“If Jesus was Jewish, did He believe in Himself?” (Josh Goetz – 6)

It all started with “Get-Out-of-Hell Free” Jesus, the earliest one I can remember. This Jesus gets “asked into your heart” and then when you die, you get saved from the fiery torment of an eternal damnation in a very literal place called hell.

Before you click away because you are worried that I am going to be marching down the path to preach a hell, fire and brimstone blog post, calm your hearts. We’re just taking a little ride together. 🙂

I am reading a very light-hearted, yet serious-at-the-same-time book called Stolen Jesus. One day, the author, Jami Amerine, notices that the portrait of Jesus at her local YMCA lobby is gone. Finding out that He is now relegated to “behind the filing cabinet,” she sneaks Him out and hangs Him over her mantel at home, thus the title of the book. She goes on to unpack all of her Jesuses (including Mormon Jesus, High School Jesus and Michigan Jesus), filling my mind with all of my own Jesuses.

Two weeks ago, I would have told you that I know Jesus pretty well. I’ve got a pretty good handle on who and what He is and who and what He is not. I’ve spent a lifetime figuring Him out. After spending some much-needed time with Jami Amerine delving into all my different Jesuses, I’m thinking, “Maybe not.” After all, the Jesus I believed in when I was three, eight, 12, 19, 28, 41 and 50ish are all completely different and some even contradictory. Is He none of them? Perhaps.

Childhood Jesuses formed hard and deep for me. They continue to be a part of who I am today, some I long to embrace further and others I wish I could banish. I would imagine you have your own. Here is a glimpse into some of mine:

Get-Out-of-Hell Free Jesus
I asked Jesus into my heart every night for my whole childhood. If you didn’t have Him in there, you were going to burn in a “lake of fire” forever and ever. That was super scary. Who wants that? I certainly didn’t. At the end of most days, I was never sure if I had done it right or meant it based on my troubling behavior earlier in the day, so the cycle continued endlessly. Poor Jesus. He was not a lot more than the best fire insurance a very frightened child could muster up. (Little known fact: this ended when 12-year old Esther wrote down the “date” I finally meant it in my Bible: January 25, 1979. It was for sure this time. God help me.)

Boarding School Jesus (also known as Verse Group Jesus and Behavior-Management Jesus)
Every morning during my boarding school years, we were wakened and marched downstairs to some room (even before breakfast…but my memory might be a little fuzzy here) to memorize verses. We got a prize at the end of the semester (lunch out at the local airport…big deal for this “never-eat-out” tot) for memorizing them all. After all, “hiding these verses in our heart” would ensure that we would “not sin against” God (see Psalm 119:11 to get the picture) or more happily for our dorm parents and teachers, not sin against them. It was an amazing “behavior management” technique. (Quiet thought circling in my head: Little Esther was good at this. Especially on the outside. Maybe not so much the inside.)

Aslan Jesus
It’s crazy how you can have simultaneous Jesuses that are nothing alike. At the same time as Verse Group Jesus, I had another Jesus. Many nights, after being fed and washed up, I listened to the Chronicles of Narnia being read by our dorm mother. Enter Aslan Jesus. He was a kind and gracious lion who loved and took great care of children, playing with them and even dying for them, even one of them who betrayed Him. He seemed like the kind of Jesus and friend that I wanted and so desperately needed, very different from the first two that I had learned about or conjured up in my head. I wished he was real. I loved him. Who wouldn’t? (Secret: I still love Aslan Jesus. He’s a keeper.)

Bible Quiz Team Jesus
When I was a very nerdy high schooler, I belonged to a Bible quiz team. We would memorize entire books of the Bible and compete with other teams for a chance to go to the National Tournament. It happened all four years for me. In fact, I was ranked the “#1 Bible Quizzer in the USA” my senior summer! It’s probably the only time in my life I was the actual “master of the trade,” not just the “jack.” I performed superbly. I was highly rewarded for it. This Jesus loved me. I was acceptable in His eyes. I had finally proved my worth to Him. (Another secret: This Jesus has pestered me to this day. I daily battle with this Jesus.)

What we believe about Jesus is paramount to how we live and love. If we believe He’s out to get us, we may be afraid of Him. If we believe His goal is to keep us in line, we will probably avoid Him (I was the queen avoider for years). If we believe He accepts us only when we are “good,” we may perform well, but we also may feel like it’s never enough. On the contrary, if we truly believe He loves and cares for us, and understand that in the core of our souls, we will have safety and freedom to love and respond in kind.

I have a lot more Jesuses that formed during my adult years, some I will speak of in another post. Again, just like my childhood Jesuses, there are some I long to cling to and dive deeper with and some that don’t describe the Real Jesus at all and that I should run far away from.

I am still on my adventure to get to know the Real Jesus, the One who isn’t bound by all my experiences and thoughts and frailties, the One Who is completely Himself. I hope you are too. I do know one thing for sure: I won’t be disappointed when I know Him fully! It might take the rest of my life and even into forever for this to happen, but He will be worth it! I love this journey with Him!

We all have different Jesuses. Who are your childhood Jesuses? I really hope you respond here by commenting or let me know on Facebook, Instagram, Linked In or Twitter. I would love that so much! Please like my posts out on social media (but only if you like them…LOL). It helps it to move into people’s newsfeeds and I can get the word out to more folks!

ALSO, FOLLOW ME VIA EMAIL SO YOU NEVER MISS ANOTHER POST!!

Faith, Family, motherhood

A Blessing for My Fellow Moms (#refreshmentforyoursoul)

Posted on September 3, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

There ought to be a hall of fame for mamas
Creation’s most unique and precious pearl
And heaven help us always to remember
That the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
Glen Campbell

To my Fellow Sweet Moms,

Each of our souls need blessing, someone willing something very good for us and asking God to grant it. As moms, we are constantly blessing those we love and live with. We give many times more than we receive. As your kids (whether they’re three or 43) enter another new “school” year, I long to speak this blessing straight into the core of your mom soul. I pray that God would fill your life and your heart with all the good things that God can give. One of my favorite words is “HOPE” (It was my WOTY in 2015) . True, authentic, God-breathed hope is the confident expectation of good in your life. This is my “HOPE” and blessing for you this year:

As you rise each morning, may you awaken refreshed with peace and hope for the new day that has been given to you (in your body, your mind and your spirit).

As you are getting ready, may your heart be excited about what gifts have been prepared by God’s hand, especially designed for you. May your time be expanded so that you are not hurried and that you are filled with joyful expectation.

If you have a little one, may they have slept peacefully through the night and be waking with a brilliant smile and a warm hug for you. May they respond with enthusiasm as you help them to dress, eat and be ready for their day ahead.

If you have school-aged children, may God speak words of encouragement to you during the morning flurry. May peaceful and cooperative spirits reign over the rush.

If your child is now a budding or grown adult, may God fill your heart with peace as you trust Him with their journeys and what they may be experiencing apart from you. May God comfort you as you wipe away the tears that come from missing them and may you experience joy as thoughts of them flood your mind.

As you walk through your day, may others speak words of kindness to you. May you also have wisdom to know exactly what God has for you as you pursue the things you love, whether for work or pleasure. May your labor bring much reward to you no matter what you endeavor.

May you and those you love have safety throughout the day. May each of you be protected from disease and harm. May you find yourself in a constant place of contentment and peace, physically, mentally and spiritually.

May you be filled with laughter and joy as you unpack the special gifts God has designed just for you. May you have times of seriousness and depth as well that speak to your inner being. May your friendships blossom, your body flourish, your mind be sharpened and your heart be filled with love.

May your pre-dinner time be filled with peace and joy, kindness and motivation. May those you live with work diligently to fulfill their responsibilities and be a help to you the best way they can. May there be times of play and refreshment as well that nourish and strengthen your soul.

Depending on what your evening’s activities bring you (family, a good meal, continued work, exercise, quiet, or friendship), may those who come in contact with you give you only words of comfort, understanding and support. May the mouths of others be shut if their words are critical and unkind. May your exercise (whether physical, emotional, relational or spiritual) be fruitful and bring life to you. May your loved ones bring you blessing and life.

When you have a break from the daily grind of work (weekends, vacation, Sabbath, etc.), may your time be filled with restoration of your mind, your spirit and your body. May you have understanding of what to fill your time with and when to rest, when to be with others and when to be alone.

As you wrap up your day, may your mind turn to thoughts of thanksgiving for the gifts that were so freely given to you that day by God’s hand. May all thoughts of despair and discouragement be banished from your mind, heart and soul and may they be turned to Christ, who has sustained and provided for you during this past day.

May your night be filled with dreams that bring you joy, recreation, laughter, hope, love, peace, kindness, encouragement, restfulness and even creativity. May God grant you the full and daily restoration that your body, mind, heart and soul needs during this time. May your whole being respond with healing and wholeness. May God richly bless you as you sleep!

Throughout all of your days, may you be able to see, feel and receive the love and grace that God has for you in abundance. And finally, “May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Sweet Fellow Mom, we are on this journey together, one that is filled with the beautiful and messy, the light-hearted and complicated, the bitter and sweet! We will keep trusting and moving ahead on this journey together!

From my heart to yours,

Esther #fourkidsisfun

Charity, Childhood, Faith, Third Culture Kid

I’m an MK. What are You?

Posted on August 5, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” (Abraham Lincoln)

TTYL – Talk To You Later
SSDD – Same Stuff Different Day
LMK – Let Me Know
PAW – Parents are Watching (my personal favorite…not really!)

We live in a world where we communicate with all kinds of capital letters. It just makes it easier when using our thumbs to type words designed for five fingers. And sometimes, things can get lost in translation. Here’s my favorite:

“I heard your aunt passed away. LOL.”
(If you’re struggling with this one, the person sending thought LOL meant “Lots of Love” and it really means “Laugh Out Loud”)

In the olden days, instead of #textspeak, we called these capital letters acronyms.

I grew up with one that identified me: MK (Missionary Kid). For as long as I can remember, I have used those two letters to tell people who I am. In fact, I just did it again this week when meeting someone for the first time. And I haven’t lived overseas for 4/5 of my life. I guess it’s supposed to give insight into some depth of my being for the curious or just be used as a conversation starter. Sometimes, people are fascinated and other times, I get the feeling they feel a little sorry for me. It’s a funny dichotomy.

Life as an MK is BOTH fascinating AND difficult. BOTH wonderful AND confusing. Kind of like your life. It does pose BOTH a unique set of challenges AND a particular group of rewards (CHECK OUT MINE HERE). Just like your life.

For a long time, I felt strange and unusual, almost like an animal in a zoo for everyone to gawk at. We were on display, especially when we came home on deputation…a fancy word for visiting churches to raise money (and believe me, my parents did their best to protect us from the insanity of standing up in front of churches and singing songs in Ethiopia’s native tongue). **CHECK OUT MY PARENT’S BIRD’S EYE VIEW HERE** I felt excluded, like everyone else was in some kind of inner circle and I was on the outside. It was partly true. I did have a different story than those I eventually went to school with here in the US. I did have a life that didn’t resemble theirs. But it wasn’t the whole truth.

The WHOLE TRUTH is that each one of us has a unique life story that encompasses sorrow AND joy, hardship AND celebration, beauty AND darkness. The WHOLE TRUTH is that I can accept BOTH myself and my particular journey AND love others as I get to know theirs. The WHOLE TRUTH is that instead of a wall of division between US (MKs) and THEM (RJs – Regular Joes – who might have lived in the same house in the same town for their whole childhood), there is solidarity that we ALL are in the same big giant circle as humans. After all, I now have a husband and children who are RJs and I certainly never want any division between us. Blogger Janet Newberry calls this divided place a “two-circle world,” one that’s based on exclusion and isolation, not inclusion and community. The WHOLE TRUTH (the one that sets us free) is that our distinct stories don’t divide us. They unite us. This makes room for a “one-circle” world.

We all tend to find people who relate to our stories, our beliefs, our way of living. We tend to group ourselves according to these commonalities. It doesn’t just happen to MKs and RJs. It happens everywhere: politics, religion, race, hobbies, life status, you name it. Just looking at groups on Facebook reminds me that this happens in spades. If I look around me, I’m not sure it’s working great. Yes. It matters that we find others who are going through/have gone through what we have, share a similar story. In fact, it’s important. It creates a place of understanding, of being known, of safety, of belonging. But again, it’s only partly true. It isn’t the whole truth. The WHOLE TRUTH is that excluding others because we feel excluded doesn’t ensure us true belonging. The WHOLE TRUTH is that Jesus’ prayer that “we are one just as He and His Father are one” provides the love and belonging we all were designed to have and long for. The WHOLE TRUTH is love and exclusion cannot coexist and that God invites us all into this great, inclusive love story. We already belong!!

I want to live out of that WHOLE TRUTH. I want to live FROM a place of belonging, not FOR it. I want to invite myself and others into this “one-circle world,” to unwrap the gift of each person God has for me to enjoy, no matter what their story, background, political affiliation, race, etc. If I am honest, I’m not there yet. My world is “two-circlish” right now. I want that to change. It might mean more work on my part. But more work usually means more reward. One way is that I would love to unwrap the gift that is you. I would love to know your story. Here’s one little step for me and you to take (this blog post is my part in it):

If you had to describe your life in #textspeak, what would it be? Mine has now changed to PMKNRJ (Previous Missionary Kid, Now Regular Joe). Let me know here in the comment section or out on social media. Can’t wait to hear!

If you want to share your deeper story with me, please go to the contact page and send me an email. Or “friend” me on Facebook. I will count it as a very sacred privilege to get to know you. Thank you.

**FOLLOW ME VIA EMAIL IF YOU NEVER WANT TO MISS ANOTHER POST**

Last thing: if you are wondering where the pics are from up top, it’s from the Dr. Seuss book, “The Sneetches and Other Stories.” Great read!

Anxiety, Charity, Faith, Mental Health, Word of the Year

Shattered Shalom (restoring it…in my home and in our world)

Posted on July 27, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

If you asked me even five months ago what I thought peace meant, I summed it up as “the absence of conflict.” In fact, a quick search on Google backed me up on this. My husband also cheered this idea in spades. He loves an atmosphere where everyone gets along (how one Facebook friend defined it), especially us. It’s like heaven to him. Having a house with four very unique and spirited children did not lend itself to this. The constant conflict and fighting sent us to our beds exhausted many nights. I would mutter to myself (and sometimes scream loudly to my kids which, if you take a second, is pretty ironic), “Just a few moments of peace is all I’m asking!! Is it too much?” I know I don’t have to talk any further without a bunch of nods of the head, muttered “mm-hmms” and loud “AMENS!”

Whether it’s the constant arguing of politicians and political analysts on “news” shows, gut-wrenching war across our world, bickering among children or family members over the latest “who-knows-what,” co-workers disagreeing over how a project needs to be done, or late-into-the-night discord (or should I say straight-up fights) among spouses, it is just plain tiring. No wonder we want some peace. Some quiet. Some “everyone-just-get- along-please” moments. We are saturated with it all day long.

YES, THAT IS MY SON AND HIS SOCCER TEAM AT HIS SENIOR PASTA PARTY!

Sorry for the diversion. Back to the blog post. I think you understand my point.

ALL.

DAY.

LONG.

To combat it and try to find some measure of inner calm, I find myself doing one of four things: fighting, running, avoiding, or just standing there with a blank stare not knowing what to do next. This is the natural response from our human bodies when we feel threatened and overwhelmed. It’s our “lizard brain” (as I like to refer to the amygdala) doing what it can in the moment when the adrenaline rush takes over to protect us. Psychologists refer to these responses as fight, flight, faint or freeze.

As I very feisty and passionate individual, I naturally gravitate to fighting. As we all know, this does nothing to help. It escalates the issue and then the whole house is in an uproar, hurt and angry. It becomes a mess. Allen, on the other hand, is drawn toward fleeing. He shuts down, gets quiet and goes into another room. Our kids vary on the spectrum, with some fighting, some getting quiet, some going to their room to watch TV or sleep, and some utterly dumb-founded, not knowing what to do. It makes for a little bit of a “not-so-peaceful” house.

ENTER COUNSELING and the beginning of understanding that although, in the moment, those responses are normal, they don’t restore harmony. We are working from brokenness not health.

ENTER BOOK, As We Forgive (Stories of Reconciliation from Rwanda) by Catherine Clare Larson, suggested to us by our group leader before we head to this beautiful country to dig a well in September (HUGE SHOUT OUT AND MUST READ).

ENTER VACATION with family members (nine people plus baby for seven days). Arguments and behavior patterns and all that good stuff. (You know what I mean?!) I figured out that nine people make up 36 different relationships. That’s enough to start a war.

RE-ENTER BOOK. Reminder that all of the above are really just shattered shalom (the fancy Hebrew word for peace).

I have always believed that shalom had the same meaning of peace that I had in my head. Come to find out I am missing something. A huge thing. And it just might really make the difference in my own little world with my own little group of people. But it also might make the difference in our huge world with all the groups of people (like seven billion and counting much to my son’s chagrin as he’s a little paranoid about over-population).

So what is it? What is this shalom?

SHALOM IS NOT DEFINED BY ABSENCE. Instead, it encompasses the PRESENCE of true human flourishing (my friend’s Word of the Year): socially, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Larson reminds me that it is “ultimate harmony.” Shalom speaks of fullness, completeness and wholeness, hardly the absence of anything, except perhaps division (as another Facebook friend reminded me). In Ancient Israel (where the word comes from), when a crime was committed, the central point was not on the outer (the broken law and restoration of order), but rather on the inner (broken shalom and restoration of peace) for all involved: victim, community and even offender. It was important that ALL would flourish, all would be brought back to wholeness.

As I stated above, our human body responds to conflict in one of four ways: fight, flight, faint or freeze. We are naturally drawn to one of those responses when it comes to personal conflict. However, somewhere among attacking, running away, avoiding and becoming paralyzed lies a completely different way, one that is more difficult, but offers much in the restoration of this fuller peace, or shalom. In fact, sometimes conflict and disagreement are required to achieve it.

Really?!?

In the flight, faint or freeze responses, the focus is on “ME.” I am looking for what’s easy, convenient and non-threatening. Protecting myself becomes the highest priority. However, in the fight response the focus is on “YOU,” blaming you and expecting you to solve my problem or my pain. Again, protecting myself becomes the highest priority. The peace-making, shalom-restoring response shifts to “US.” The restoration of the relationship and the flourishing of ourselves and the other becomes the highest priority. Wholeness, fullness and completeness come to the forefront. Conflict happens and disagreements occur, but the relationship is not threatened. In fact, clashes and variance might just provide the avenue for greater wholeness than without them. The move from YOU vs. ME to US changes everything.

For this girl who tends to blame others and fight, this is really BIG. A huge change of thought. And practice. It’s not enough for me to “not have fighting,” the absence of conflict. I want more. I want wholeness and healing and true flourishing. In every area of my life. For me and for you. When I think about Jesus, the “Prince of Peace (guess what the Hebrew word is there),” this makes more sense now than ever. He doesn’t just want “quiet” for me. He wants shalom. He wants me to flourish. He wants the same for you. And he wants the same for our world. Here’s to restoring it more and more every moment and every day. I hope to start right now.

Thank you again for reading all the way to the bottom. WOW! Please like this here and especially out on social media if you can! Comment here or there as well. It means the world to me!

Faith, Family, Mental Health

Unraveling and Re-raveling (Getting Rid of the Formula)

Posted on July 22, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“Trust me. There is no formula for most things that are not math.” (Daniel Pinkwater)

godly husband + passionate wife = great marriage

great marriage + good parenting = well-behaved child

well-behaved child + right school and strong youth group = wise-choice making teen

wise-choice making teen + strong college = successful adult

successful adult + other successful adult = godly husband + passionate wife

And the formula goes round and round. Or does it?

When I was just a wee bit younger (okay, like 30 years ago, but I’m not that old, right?!), I believed wholeheartedly in the formula above. Why wouldn’t I? It’s perfect. Just do it all right, make all the right, godly choices and life goes the way it should. After all, isn’t that what I’ve heard my whole life from preachers and family and professors and authors and friends and even from my own head? Things like: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in step with the wicked…whatever he does prospers.” (Psalm 1) “We proved to ourselves that when you do things right, good things happen.” (Tom Sawyer) And my new favorite:

To say it again: just do it all right, make all the right, godly choices and life goes the way it should.

EXCEPT.

WHEN.

IT.

DOESN’T.

What happens then?

Somewhere along the line of that cute little formula, the “right” side of the equal sign fails to happen. Sometimes it goes like this:

godly husband + passionate wife = messy divorce

great marriage + good parenting – child with Oppositional Defiance Disorder

well-behaved child + right school and strong youth group = teen substance abuser

wise-choice making teens + strong college = struggling-to-find-or-keep-a-job adult

successful adult + other successful adult = distant husband + depressed wife

For many years, I counted on the formula. When it didn’t seem to be working, I just tried harder. “It must be something I’m doing wrong,” I thought. “Maybe I don’t have the equation right.” After all, there is a way to guarantee a great marriage, well-behaved children, wise-choice making teens, and successful adults, right? I read “10 Step” books. I made long prayer lists on color-coded index cards. I went to seminars and then led them. My formula-living was not limited to the above scenarios. Much of my life was permeated by this black-and-white thinking.

Until…

Until the formulas stopped working. Good people got divorced. My kids weren’t all that well-behaved at times. Many teens, including my own, made “not-so-wise” choices and some of my children’s friends struggled with addiction. Well-educated people had a hard time finding a job. Many lost their jobs. Successful people were anxious and depressed, including me. Ugh.

My idea of how the world worked came crashing down. I didn’t know what to think. Anxiety took over. Hopeless thoughts came much more than I wanted them to. I kept trying harder. It just got worse. Finally, I came completely unraveled. UNRAVELED. My carefully-built-rubber-band-ball-of-how-life-works began snapping. If not this, then what? What do I do now? How do I live? UNRAVELED.

BUT, (and I love these “buts” of life) what seemed like a tunnel without a light became just what God used for a whole new “RE-RAVELING” as Rachel Held Evans refers to it: a very different way of looking at people and relationships and what matters. I began to live in more truth and with that truth came some slow steps toward freedom.

Once the formulas were stripped away, I was invited into relationship, both with God and with others. At first, this uncertain place seemed like a curse. It would take lots more time and wisdom and there wouldn’t be simple answers. It would be complicated, messy. But as I embarked on this different journey with much trepidation, I found that it just might be a gift, and a good one at that. The truth is that life is messy and no amount of “doing the right thing” ensures complete safety and success. This might sound harsh and hopeless at first glance, but it is actually helpful and freeing. Instead of viewing life as a problem to be solved, I began to see it as a mysterious adventure to be enjoyed (kind of like action thriller enjoyment, which is kind of scary and fun all at the same time). Instead of seeking certainty, I began to pursue wisely-placed trust, trust in a wild God, One I can’t control, but One who is completely good and utterly safe. I am steadily (actually it seems to be in fits and starts) finding that as trust is developed, love thrives. And this is what I truly want. Chasing certainty is slavery; carefully-placed trust in a God who loves us is freedom.

My relationship with others slowly began to change as well. Instead of having an agenda (the sum of the equation), I began to believe that I could just BE with others, no matter where they land on the spectrum of life. This is hard for me. I really struggle with this. I have an agenda for everyone. I think I know best. I want you to change for the better. And I believe I know how you should get there. It doesn’t come from the best place. It’s because I think I am better and know better. I like a little bit (I mean a lot) of control. UGH. But as I’ve turned the tables, and the truth is told, I don’t want to be anybody else’s agenda or project. Instead of “here is what I think you should do, be, act like, etc., I love when others say, “I’m with you,” and that’s the end of it. I don’t want to feel like I’m going to the principal’s office when I am with someone. No one wants that. It creates defensiveness and hiding. However, when someone is just WITH ME in my beautiful, messy life, this unconditional love opens the door for vulnerability and trust. Change is much more likely to happen in this safe space. As Bob Goff says in his book, Love Does, this kind of “love operates more like sign language than being spoken outright.” I need more of this in my life, both ways.

The best thing for us (and our world) is to love God and love others. Formulas are not love. And to boot, they don’t work. Loving God is trusting Him, especially when things don’t go as planned. It is a trust that is wisely placed. IT BRINGS US FREEDOM. Agendas are also not love. Loving others is being with them, especially when they are not where we think they should be or want them to be. That’s a love that’s unconditional and safe. IT BRINGS THEM FREEDOM.

I am glad my rubber band ball came UNRAVELED. I am also very thankful I am on the path to RE-RAVELING. I don’t know about you, but I want to keep living in and from these places, creating safe spaces for both myself and others, filled with vulnerability, trust, love and freedom. In the end, St. Paul was so right when he wrote, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Let’s do what counts together!

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT OR SHARE. AND ESPECIALLY TAKE A MINUTE TO LIKE THE POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!

AND IF YOU DON’T EVER WANT TO MISS MY POSTS, SIGN UP TO FOLLOW ME VIA EMAIL IT’S RIGHT BACK UP AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE ON THE RIGHT!

Faith, Word of the Year

Halfway Through (My Word of the Year and maybe your WOTSHOTY)

Posted on July 8, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

Kind words are like honey. They are sweet to the spirit and healing to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)

Last Saturday night, as I was playing cards with Rachel and Allen’s mom during a girls’ weekend in Pittsburgh, suddenly I blurted out, “WOW! We are halfway done with 2018.” Someone half-heartedly responded with, “Yeah. Life goes so quickly.” HALFWAY. Really?!? HALFWAY? It seems such a short time ago that I was toiling away on the cusp of the New Year, working through the process to find my Word of the Year for 2018. And here it is, July something and suddenly, on an ordinary Saturday night, I was jolted back to my Word of the Year (WOTY).

I am just like the rest of you, having huge aspirations at the beginning of January for so many things: getting more exercise, spending more time with God, eating healthier, and the lists go on and on. There is something invigorating about a fresh start filled with hope for something new, better. Yet life keeps happening at break-neck speed, the mundane and extraordinary of our journeys keep permeating each day and suddenly, we stop (like I am right now) and the balloon filled with dreams and desires is suddenly sitting in the corner, crumpled and limp.

What normally permeates my thoughts during the first week of July are things like vacations and fireworks and freedom and family. But having been thrust back into the reminder of my word, “TEND,” I spent a fair amount of time wondering where it had taken me so far, what I am learning about and what the rest of 2018 might look like with this “gentle friend,” this “kind companion,” as I like to refer to it. Those phrases keep me away from disappointment with myself for “not doing a better job” with it or fear that I haven’t “done enough” to make the word worthy of the work I put into finding it. Basically, they keep the guilt and shame monsters tucked neatly away in a very locked closet where they should stay.

As this gentle friend nudged me once again this week, I spent my shower time, my time weeding and dead-heading my deck plants, and the “awake-in-the-middle-of the-night-for-no-reason” (UGH!) time pondering what she had to say to me. Two huge revelations came to me that I am thankful to carry into the rest of 2018, one a tender prod and one a kind reminder. I like this traveling partner.

The tender prod came to me as I was dead-heading my barely-alive deck plants, hoping to draw them back to life before our big party next weekend. I was obviously “tending” to my home and especially these dying petunias. I had been away for nearly a week and despite my children’s best efforts, they were wilting under the heat of the July sun. It took me an hour and a half, so I had plenty of pondering moments. My WOTY spoke ever so quietly: So many things in your life need “tending,” Esther. If you don’t “tend” them, they will die. What are you choosing to “tend?” Are they your “deeper yesses” (as my friend Roey likes to call them)?”

I was suddenly brought back to the thought of what happens many times when Allen and I are in an argument. Invariably, one or both of us, right in the middle of the heated debate, starts organizing a kitchen drawer or pruning our plants. It amazes me every time. I believe psychologists would agree with me that because the other person or the situation seems, in the moment, out of our control, we quickly move to fixing what we have power over. It’s much harder to do the work of relationship which has no easy formula or guarantee, than cut off some shoots to restore life to the greenery or get the rubber bands back into a neat ball.

So much of life is tending to the things we can control and they are all necessary. No guilt there. I just don’t want that to be my whole life. I don’t want to miss the “forest for the trees” as they say, the beauty of the hard work of my relationships with God and others for the easier “to-do list” items that get easily checked off (or not so easily if you are calling your insurance company). I don’t want to neglect the former for the latter. I want to tend to my own heart, mind, and spirit along with those of others. These are my deeper “yesses.”

The kind reminder came to me from my beautiful friend, Annie. She speaks to me of my WOTY every so often. She is a careful “tender” of my heart. We spoke of the huge garden of our lives and how it’s not all and only up to me to keep my personal nursery alive and flourishing. You see, I tend (haha, no pun inTENDed. Continued haha!) to be a “get-it-all-done,” super-hero, “I’ve got this” kind of person. I like the feeling of accomplishment all by myself. In fact, I pride myself on not getting help. After all, I am capable and strong and yada yada yada. But that gets me in quite the bind where I am depleted and exhausted and have no room for joy, peace, and all those other good fruits of the Spirit (look them up HERE). I get kind of grouchy and resentful.

Needless to say, I found myself there once again (big surprise) at the end of June. So the word from Annie was just what I needed to hear once again (I am a slow learner). I am not alone in the process. First of all, God tends to me, lovingly caring for me especially when I am not able. He is the ultimate gardener! Secondly, I am surrounded by others. I tend their gardens and they tend mine. We cultivate the ground, fertilize the soil, water the tender shoots, pull out the weeds, and ultimately enjoy the beauty created and the fruit produced in the hearts and souls of each other. BIG SIGH! WHEW! If I try to go it alone, it just “ain’t going to work.” I need God. I also need you and you need me. One small step again toward freedom.

I know many of you have your own Words of the Year. It might just be a good time to spend some much-needed time with this gentle friend, this kind companion. What does yours want to say to you? Take an hour in the next few days and ask him or her!

If you don’t have a word for the year, it doesn’t matter. It’s never too late. You can have a WOTSHOTY (Word of the Second Half of the Year). If you don’t know how to choose one, check out my original blog post HERE and my first quarter update HERE.

WE ALL NEED THIS LOVING TRAVELING COMPANION!

Childhood, Faith, Family, motherhood

“I Want Five Tattoos!” (My 13 Year Old)

Posted on June 10, 2018January 27, 2022 by Esther Goetz

“Being the best is great. You’re the number one. Being unique is greater. You are the ONLY one.” (Wilson Kanadi)

I couldn’t tell you when it happened but when Rachel, our youngest (read more about her HERE), was about 13 or 14 years old, she told me she wanted to get a tattoo, actually FIVE tattoos. After my initial internal “yikes” response and my “not-so-hidden” external gasp, I drummed up the courage to ask her what these FIVE tattoos were and why she was in desperate need to mark up her sacred body (as I so lovingly reminded her which was responded to by some eye-rolling).

Mustering my highly uncomfortable “listen-whether-you-like-it-or-not” skills and “don’t-make-any-faces” expertise (Okay. You got me. It’s true. I have absolutely zero expertise in this area), I listened as she surprised me. All on her own, she had discovered FIVE things that she loved in this life, FIVE parts of our common humanity that made her heart come alive and that she would hold tightly onto no matter how old she became. She had a symbol for each one that she wanted tattooed on the inside of each of her FIVE fingers. I listened with bigger ears and a broader heart (good parent award) and breathed a sigh of relief that the tattoos would be so small that no one would probably ever notice them (shallow, worried-about-what-others-might-think parent booby prize). She had discovered how she was specifically designed and made it her mission to invest in what made her heart flutter as she traveled her unique life’s journey.

Rachel’s FIVE:

HEART – This symbolizes “love.” Her desire to invest in people and relationships: from family to friends, from those on the fringes to those on the inside, from the easy-to-like to the hard-to-tolerate. (Mom note: Rachel is a ball of unconditional love. Those who meet her feel instantly like they are the only person in the room. Her smile is contagious and her grace is infectious.)

PUZZLE PIECE – Since Rachel was a tot, she has loved puzzles. From 3rd grade on, we have had a puzzle table set up in our family room that is constantly filled with pieces waiting to be gathered into a picture. She has a special puzzle table at college and is part of the “puzzle-of-the-month” club. This is no small matter in this girl’s life and it gives her a place to unwind, yet allows her brain a much-loved boost. Some people run for endorphins. Rachel does puzzles. (Mom note: she gets this from my genes. She and I are going to have a puzzle contest this summer to see who can get the same puzzle done quicker. Please pray for me. I think I might have met my match and most likely, my superior.)

CROSS – Jesus. This is plainly and simply about her fierce attachment to Her Savior, Confidant, Best-Friend, Provider and Lover of her Soul. Her pure heart for the spiritual and her complete understanding of the intentional, passionate love of God and His unconditional acceptance of her has given her an unspoken confidence. (Mom note: She is unwavering in her own truth, yet never judges another who isn’t quite there yet. It’s one way that I want to be like her.)

WAVE – This one symbolizes all things water, especially her love of the ocean. She grew up swimming like a fish, always in our pool (in fact, we built it especially for her), and as soon as she got a taste of the sand and the sea, there was no turning back. Her heart swells for any and all days that she can spend at our beloved Long Beach Island and she braves our Garden State Parkway to get to the ocean any which way she can. (Mom note: Thank God we live in NJ and she goes to college in Central Florida. It’s the perfect place for a one-hour ride to this dream that she consistently makes a reality.)

MUSIC NOTE: From the little musical play that she was in as a child TO her fierce commitment to learning the guitar in middle school TO quitting lacrosse to pursue her passion for recording arts, Rachel reminds me that music sets her soul on fire. Music is one of the truest friends of her creative heart and mind. It gives her a place to create and connect, to relax and rejuvenate, to express and find refuge. (Last Mom note: I couldn’t believe it when she told me she wanted to take voice and piano lessons her senior year. After only a few short months but a lot of hard work, here was the result: ENJOY IT HERE!)

Every so often, I check in with Rachel about her FIVE things and which ones she’s finding easy and or more difficult depending on the season she’s in. Last week, when she returned home for her summer break and we were riding bikes at the beach, we spoke about this. She shared that this latest season of intense schooling for her future recording arts career has not allowed her to give attention to some of these FIVE. She is determined to spend the next eight weeks rediscovering and investing in them. However, just as in all things, it’s not that simple. The more complicated part is that it might mean saying “no” to some really good so that she can say a deeper “yes” to the important. And guess what? The puzzle table is back up. She’s reading Love Does by Bob Goff to get to know Jesus just a little bit better. She’s spending every possible minute either out by our pool or at the beach soaking in the sun and sand. She’s investing time and energy into her two best friends from home, her closest friend at school and her awesome family (If I say so myself, and I guess I just did, we are awesome!). And never-to-be-neglected, she is playing piano and guitar until the wee hours (I fell happily asleep last night as I listened to these pierce the quiet of our home) along with becoming better at “ear something or other” that I don’t even understand.

As a welcome home surprise, I bought her FIVE rings that have her FIVE things. The sparkle in her eyes as she opened the gifts told me everything I longed for. One of the main hopes I have as a parent had come true in this beautiful young woman: I desire that each of my children learn and then pursue who they uniquely are. I don’t want my children to be like me. (In fact, the term “Minnie-Me” gets me all up in my grill.) I truly want them to be themselves, to be the “one-of-a-kind” God has designed to be. It goes back to my favorite Dr. Seuss quote of all time, “Today, you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you.” I will be me. You be you!

The other day, Rachel reassured me that she no longer wants those tattoos on her fingers. I felt great relief for a brief moment until she blurted out, “Meg and I are going to get beach bike tattoos this summer.” My hope of a small, almost invisible tattoo is fading quickly. Yet, my hope for this girl to blossom in all her Rachelness is exploding!

Rachel has caused me to think about my own FIVE things. What symbols would I choose for what makes me unique, “one-of-a-kind”? What makes my heart come alive? What do I want to invest in that speaks of who I am and allows me to leave my very own personal mark on this lovely world that no one else can because they are just not me? What might I need to say “no” to for my deeper “yes”? I wrote a few of them down this morning. Stay tuned to a future blog post! What are your FIVE, or FOUR, or however many?

(As always, SHARE, comment, AND especially LIKE and comment on my post out on Social Media or here if you are a WordPress friend…this means the world to me! Plus, I do really want to know! For real!)

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring

Sharing is caring